Clayton: My Mews

Did I get a cat because I wanted some companionship? Because I thought Flannery would enjoy one? Do I just like scooping cat poo and have an unnatural interest in cross species scabies infestation? Or could it be that I needed something to blog about?

As Clayton and I become more acquainted I've come to understand his likes, dislikes, and his outright dreads.

[From Clayton's point of view]

Likes:
- The arm of the couch. It's high enough to sleep comfortably above the fray, but not so high that it's scary to jump off of like that stupid shelf I fell off today.
- Scarves. They have tassels which are both exciting and delicious. And I happen to be slippery enough that when i grab hold of the scarf I'm easily dragged across both carpet and linoleum.
- Microwaved burritos. At least I think I like them. They smell divine. (I got to stick my nose in a wrapper once.)

Dislikes:
- The vacuum. I know, all animals dislike vacuums. I'm not that creative, I'm a cat.
- Skylights. I just don't trust them. They're all bright and shiny and they remind me of when I was taken from a field and probed under my tail. I don't think I can have kids anymore.

Dreads:
- The toilet. It makes me uncomfortable when people sit on them, and despite jumping in numerous times to figure out what they put in there, all I got was wet feet that nobody seemed very interested in touching. I do my best to warn them away, but usually I just get shewed into the kitchen.
- The shower. This one scares the bejesus out of me. It forces people inside and makes them wet. WET! I wail and slash at the shower curtain and sometimes kick the crap out of the shower's minions, the bathmats. Eventually the shower sets them free and I can rest well knowing I've done my bit.

News for Computer Land

I had decided when I started my new job that I wouldn't write about people from work. It's not nice to write about people if they might read it at some point. But in the tradition of other IT stories ("my cup holder isn't working") this one had to be told.

So I get a call today with the following problem: A user has an issue where he often accidentally hits the ctrl button when he's typing. Occasionally he'll combine that with an A key thereby selecting his entire document. Upon his next key stroke his document is gone. Could I, by any chance, disable the left ctrl key?

Everybody else in my department balked and told me to tell the guy there was nothing I could do, and that I didn't want to encourage him.

Alas, I tried to tell him no, but I'm a push over. So I brought him a keyboard with some keys already missing and popped the right hand ctrl key off. Such a kindly IT guy I am.

In cat news Clayton's ear has started to itch again and his self imposed ear scabs are making a comeback. His scabies medicine isn't due for another week, so I'm taking him to the vet on Saturday so they can figure out if he needs a cream or a cone or something. Sooner or later I'm going to get all his deficiencies worked out.

Well, not all of them. He just accidentally rolled off the couch and tried to catch himself using a single claw and my thigh. I don't think there's a cure for being both clumsy and sharp.

He's Not Going to Die

Things are looking up for Clayton. His ears have grown a cottony soft layer of fuzz and only a few scabs remain. His diarrhea was but a passing soft spot in what has become a solid groundwork of pooping. And his gas, while not completely gone, can be managed by not squeezing him too hard. All in all he is feeling much better.

Aside from that fact that he doesn't leak from sores and orifices, he lets me know that he's feeling better by making himself at home. For instance, he now feels comfortable enough to sleep on my bed. And while he was at the shelter he showed very little interest in playing, he now eagerly plays his favorite game: be a nut case for 5 minutes.

He's the first cat I've ever seen who enjoys chasing his tail. Dogs chase their tales in two dimensions. Cats can chase their tails off into the third detention which leaves all four legs free to grasp at it while somersaulting over the couch. It does, however, make for some uncomfortable landings from time to time. Especially if one doesn't understand how chasing one's tail through the air more than 2 feet in one direction brings one off the edge of the couch.

He's also recently taken notice of the interesting shapes that live inside my computer screen. He's not so interested in the cursor like Norbert was, he's most intrigued by the edge of the screen, where the pictures stop being so bright. He's just positive he can get in there. Alas, he can not.

Oh dear, now he's figured out that text can be fun to watch. He's learning to read!

I'm going to have to finish this post now before he jal;ksdjf;dlksajfksd.