The Creative Process

Flannery is off to a birthday party and I'm going to stay here babysitting a sleeping Tabitha. But just because I've fortuitously missed out on going to Sushi doesn't mean I didn't contribute to the birthday festivities. Flannery made the birthday card, and I had to come up with something for the inside left page.

The contenders:

• The eye-headed, cycloptic, stick-figured, crystal queen wishes you a happy flower pick field day! (She does not understand the concept of birth.)
• Adhesive backed crystals arranged in the shape of a cycloptic stick figure queen could never outshine you friendship, but damn if they don't come close.
• Queen Eyeballia Shineyton Stickfigurina the Forth would like to offer you a flower on this, the day of your birth. That'z how she do.
• What are you looking at? Are you a racist?
• Do not have a staring contest with me, you could die. Instead let us just enjoy your birthday fish.
• My writers worked tirelessly to come up with a funny, touching appropriate sentiment for the inside of this card. Unfortunately the front makes no fucking sense so they gave up.
• In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king - a slightly effeminate king.

Zombie Baby

This is apparently becoming a video blog for all my baby videos. This one involves a zombie baby.

What good is it having a daughter if you can't put her in videos on YouTube.


Dancing to ABBA


She's helping pull her weight a little by working as a BART fast-pass.

Kaiser Hippy

We're taking a class to learn about preparing for birth taught by a woman who seems to know her stuff but reminds me of a vegetarian Yoda. She makes little noises mid-sentence and last week, after introductions, she started the class by saying we should "get to the tofu of it."

One of our homework assignments was to come up with a list of 10 birth affirmations. We had to google birth affirmations to figure out how to write them: Imagine pregnant Stuart Smalley. I had to write more than 10 so we could edit them down a bit.

1. We will provide a loving home for the baby.
2. We will have a health and happy baby.
3. I crave healthful foods.
4. I want to exercise to help prepare me for birth.
5. I have an elastic perineum
   
6. I will be a good parent.
7. The baby will have a reasonably sized head
8. I can deal with very intense "sensation"
9. Vegans ate my lawn
10. Babies love islands
11. I will have a lots of support from my partner
12. We will remember the vaginal lubricant for baby poop number one.
13. The baby will be loved.
14. Babies love cats.
15. Red houses love babies.

I'm having some trouble connecting with the tofu California nature of the class offerings around these parts. I'm also having trouble deciding if I should write these in first person or not. Honestly, it doesn't really matter how elastic my perineum is, nor do I care to find out.

Art 2.0

My drawing is not that great. Nor is my painting. Even so, once in a while some inspiration strikes and I'm forced to create. Unfortunately I create the same thing over and over again. First it was in acrylics, and now it's in the form of GIMP on a Linux powered tablet. Behold, the most recently incarnation of ...

The Bear Goes Fishing