Hi, I'm back. And it's just in time for my birthday.
The birthday celebrating has already begun in Napa, where I went for a very nice dinner with the California contingent of my family. They sent me home with a giant balloon which the cats like for the string but hate for the giant balloony scariness, some very nice gift certificates, and half an apple pie. Today I took the pie to work where I had a surprisingly hard time getting rid of it. Doesn't nobody eat apple pie? I, for one, would be more than happy to have some apple pie.
That of course begs the question, "Why did you get rid of the pie, then, dummy?"
I came home tonight, had a cheese and prosciutto sandwich, and finished off the ice cream. I don't need half an apple pie's help to make me look less like Flash Gordon.
Some people at work have decided that I need to be Flash Gordon for the company costume contest. One of them presented me with a head shot of Flash and the explanation that he thought I could make my hair look like his.
I couldn't actually remember if I'd seen the 80s movie version of Flash Gordon that the picture was from so I went home and researched it on YouTube.
As I discovered, Flash Gordon has two outfits. One is a skin tight t-shirt that says flash on it over some extremely tight, white pants. The other is a spandex red and black tank top, a giant, black, WWE-style belt, and some jazz pants. There's no way I'm going to trundle around work in either of those outfits. I have 40 pounds of tub where there should be 50 pounds of muscle.
Also, I think jeans that tight might give me the squirts.
Maybe I could be Compact Flash Gordon. Or Flash Gorton's Fish sticks. Gorton's Flash Sticks?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Differences Part II
So now I'm back in beautiful Oakland California. As we arrived last night I noticed a few more differences between Ohio and the bay area.
We have:
I also personally have a much nicer bed than I found in Ohio as well as a cat who was somewhat traumatized by our long absence. He spent much of last night singing the blues and walking around on my head.
It's good to be home.
So now I'm back in beautiful Oakland California. As we arrived last night I noticed a few more differences between Ohio and the bay area.
We have:
- Human feces in our BART stations.
- And old homeless man with a cane peeing on a wall in the park by my house.
- Homeless people sleeping way up in the decorative insets in old buildings.
- Lots more sirens.
I also personally have a much nicer bed than I found in Ohio as well as a cat who was somewhat traumatized by our long absence. He spent much of last night singing the blues and walking around on my head.
It's good to be home.
Monday, July 07, 2008
The Moist and the Dirty
I'm in Ohio, land of moist, hot air, hardly any environmental awareness, no personal safety laws, and my friend's wedding.
Some things here which differ from the Bay Area:
But apart from being in Ohio, my trip out here has been really fun. The wedding was amazing, I got to play a lot of Wii Mario Kart, I saw a bunch of my friends that I don't see often, visited Magic Mountain with Flannery's sister's kids, and repeatedly lifted some toddlers over the back of a couch. They thought it was awesome, but the range of motion in my left shoulder seems to be somewhat reduced now.
And now it's time to board the plane and puzzle over the amazing mullets, shiny, new, bellybutton-high, tight, black wranglers, and the wisdom of naming your in store brand Faded Glory.
I'm in Ohio, land of moist, hot air, hardly any environmental awareness, no personal safety laws, and my friend's wedding.
Some things here which differ from the Bay Area:
- People here don't wear helmets. You are free to smear yourself all over the freeways of Ohio if you fall off your motorcycle.
- You are allowed to shoot smoke from your tailpipe onto the helmetless riders behind you. In Ohio there are no environmental roadblocks between you and your car's registration.
- There are no rubber skirts on gas pumps to keep gas fumes from floating into the air.
- It is very difficult to recycle unless you are at a private home, and even then there are no special bins.
- People here are very large. I went to Walmart for some last minute wedding shopping and saw a wide array of rotund shoppers. I tried to fit in by getting a McFlurry at the in-store McDonald's.
- The airport wireless internet is free! Score one for Ohio.
- Gas is $0.70 cheaper or so. But I'm sure there's some evil reason for it.
But apart from being in Ohio, my trip out here has been really fun. The wedding was amazing, I got to play a lot of Wii Mario Kart, I saw a bunch of my friends that I don't see often, visited Magic Mountain with Flannery's sister's kids, and repeatedly lifted some toddlers over the back of a couch. They thought it was awesome, but the range of motion in my left shoulder seems to be somewhat reduced now.
And now it's time to board the plane and puzzle over the amazing mullets, shiny, new, bellybutton-high, tight, black wranglers, and the wisdom of naming your in store brand Faded Glory.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Damn, Dirty, Animals.
There is a picture on a bus stop near work of the Nesquik Bunny popping out of a hole in the ground carrying a big cup of chocolate milk. But because he's obviously been burrowing, the picture gives me the impression that he's just dug a hole through the earth and he's offering me a tall, cool glass of dirt milk.
No thanks, Nesquik Bunny. I'm lactose mud intolerant.
There is a picture on a bus stop near work of the Nesquik Bunny popping out of a hole in the ground carrying a big cup of chocolate milk. But because he's obviously been burrowing, the picture gives me the impression that he's just dug a hole through the earth and he's offering me a tall, cool glass of dirt milk.
No thanks, Nesquik Bunny. I'm lactose mud intolerant.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
A Disgusting Pet-Based Pet Blog
Clayton is a curious cat. It has yet to kill him, but it certainly makes him gag.
He thoroughly enjoys smelling things. Especially pointy things. If I'm talking on my telemarketer-style hands free set he always wanders up to me, sniffs the microphone, and finding its smell to be delightful, starts to nibble on the end. Pens, chopsticks, forks, or an accusatory finger all warrant the same response: Sniff. Ok? Nibble. Beware a curious cat on your chest. Noses are pointy enough to garner the attention of his nose and teeth.
But sometimes he doesn't like what he smells. Super glue, for instance, is not one of his olfactory favorites. Last time I was using some he sniffed it, got a little on his nose, and spent the next five minutes alternately gaging and licking his face.
I just made an Easter basket for Flannery including a lovely felt Jesus and was in the middle of wrapping the whole thing in cellophane when Clayton came to supervise. He sniffed the tape, sniffed the basket, and finally sniffed the role of cellophane which immediately made him gag. Without a sufficiently appetizing smell he ambled off to sit in my recliner and I cleaned up my mess.
On the table I noticed a small spot of water and went to wipe it up with my hand. Alas, as my palm touched it the "water" moved as a semi-solid mass and slowly pulled itself over the edge of the counter. Apparently the cellophane had inspired Clayton to gag up a cat loogie.
On a mostly unrelated note, has anyone ever used a Furminator? I've been using one on Clayton and have removed a fairly solid jar full of hair which will some day become a sheet of cat felt.
Perhaps with the loss of my every day death bed and medical exposure this will become a disgusting pet-based craft blog.
Clayton is a curious cat. It has yet to kill him, but it certainly makes him gag.
He thoroughly enjoys smelling things. Especially pointy things. If I'm talking on my telemarketer-style hands free set he always wanders up to me, sniffs the microphone, and finding its smell to be delightful, starts to nibble on the end. Pens, chopsticks, forks, or an accusatory finger all warrant the same response: Sniff. Ok? Nibble. Beware a curious cat on your chest. Noses are pointy enough to garner the attention of his nose and teeth.
But sometimes he doesn't like what he smells. Super glue, for instance, is not one of his olfactory favorites. Last time I was using some he sniffed it, got a little on his nose, and spent the next five minutes alternately gaging and licking his face.
I just made an Easter basket for Flannery including a lovely felt Jesus and was in the middle of wrapping the whole thing in cellophane when Clayton came to supervise. He sniffed the tape, sniffed the basket, and finally sniffed the role of cellophane which immediately made him gag. Without a sufficiently appetizing smell he ambled off to sit in my recliner and I cleaned up my mess.
On the table I noticed a small spot of water and went to wipe it up with my hand. Alas, as my palm touched it the "water" moved as a semi-solid mass and slowly pulled itself over the edge of the counter. Apparently the cellophane had inspired Clayton to gag up a cat loogie.
On a mostly unrelated note, has anyone ever used a Furminator? I've been using one on Clayton and have removed a fairly solid jar full of hair which will some day become a sheet of cat felt.
Perhaps with the loss of my every day death bed and medical exposure this will become a disgusting pet-based craft blog.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
Done and Done
I've missed the big Christmas shopping season, but it's out just in time to give that special someone a mediocre book for Easter. Sure, it doesn't have anything to do with rabbits, the second coming of Jesus, or even eggs. But even so, it's my Novel, and I'm' done with it.
It sure did take forever. I wrote it in a month, printed it out, then took it home for Christmas. Several people read those copies and circled a bunch of stuff. I fixed those things then gave it to Flannery to read. She circled a bunch more stuff. When she was done I had to read through it yet again, and to tell you the truth I'm kind of sick of it at this point. None the less, I feel I should have something to show for my lack of blogging, so I finished editing last night.
Behold: You can get a really nice looking paper back version of my novel here: http://stores.lulu.com/kadel
You can also download it for free there, but what's the fun in that?
I've missed the big Christmas shopping season, but it's out just in time to give that special someone a mediocre book for Easter. Sure, it doesn't have anything to do with rabbits, the second coming of Jesus, or even eggs. But even so, it's my Novel, and I'm' done with it.
It sure did take forever. I wrote it in a month, printed it out, then took it home for Christmas. Several people read those copies and circled a bunch of stuff. I fixed those things then gave it to Flannery to read. She circled a bunch more stuff. When she was done I had to read through it yet again, and to tell you the truth I'm kind of sick of it at this point. None the less, I feel I should have something to show for my lack of blogging, so I finished editing last night.
Behold: You can get a really nice looking paper back version of my novel here: http://stores.lulu.com/kadel
You can also download it for free there, but what's the fun in that?
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Hi,
Long time no read.
Yeah, I know, I don't have a good excuse to have not written in so long. The time just gets away from me. Here's my update:
Job: Still going well. Computers don't work very well, so my job is safe.
Relationship: Going well as well. Well, all I can say is thing going well is welcome.
Novel: Almost done. It's been read over, things were circled, then it was read by somebody else and they circled things. At that point I was ready to put it on Lulu but then Flannery read it and circled whole pages at a time. Now she's done and I've been reading it, and I've been circling things too. But after I'm done, that's it. It's going to Lulu. I promise. I'm seriously sick of it at this point. When it's there I'll let you know and you can get yourself a copy and circle things too.
Recliner: What? You weren't expecting a chair-related update? I've been on the hunt for a recliner for quite a while, combing the craigslist free section for the recliner of my dreams to replace the giant brown chair I dragged off the street 6 months ago. On Sunday I found it. It was perched under a tree on 26th street between Noe and Sanchez. It's a tad scuzzy, with a few stains on the seat, but it's comfortable and it reclines. So today I was giving it a good vacuum and while I was doing the back I looked in the flap of fabric that covers the bottom foot of chair. Inside the flap was a ton of dust, a pen, and a pack of gum, all of which I scooped out with my hand. When I reached in for the last piece of gum (still in the wrapper, thank goodness) I brought up a small, hard something. Gum and pens are things that might fall out of one's pocket, so I was sure that this small hard thing would be in the same crap genre. Alas, I was wrong: It's a tooth. I don't know what kind of tooth, but as you can see, from tip to root it fits neatly inside this quarter.
And finally - I thought this was a very bloggy story - today I rode my scooter to Costco. There really isn't any hilarity here as I was just picking up an alarm clock and some photos. But I thoroughly enjoyed climbing on to my scooter and weaving among the flatbed carts full of stuff on my way out to the street.
Long time no read.
Yeah, I know, I don't have a good excuse to have not written in so long. The time just gets away from me. Here's my update:
Job: Still going well. Computers don't work very well, so my job is safe.
Relationship: Going well as well. Well, all I can say is thing going well is welcome.
Novel: Almost done. It's been read over, things were circled, then it was read by somebody else and they circled things. At that point I was ready to put it on Lulu but then Flannery read it and circled whole pages at a time. Now she's done and I've been reading it, and I've been circling things too. But after I'm done, that's it. It's going to Lulu. I promise. I'm seriously sick of it at this point. When it's there I'll let you know and you can get yourself a copy and circle things too.
Recliner: What? You weren't expecting a chair-related update? I've been on the hunt for a recliner for quite a while, combing the craigslist free section for the recliner of my dreams to replace the giant brown chair I dragged off the street 6 months ago. On Sunday I found it. It was perched under a tree on 26th street between Noe and Sanchez. It's a tad scuzzy, with a few stains on the seat, but it's comfortable and it reclines. So today I was giving it a good vacuum and while I was doing the back I looked in the flap of fabric that covers the bottom foot of chair. Inside the flap was a ton of dust, a pen, and a pack of gum, all of which I scooped out with my hand. When I reached in for the last piece of gum (still in the wrapper, thank goodness) I brought up a small, hard something. Gum and pens are things that might fall out of one's pocket, so I was sure that this small hard thing would be in the same crap genre. Alas, I was wrong: It's a tooth. I don't know what kind of tooth, but as you can see, from tip to root it fits neatly inside this quarter.
And finally - I thought this was a very bloggy story - today I rode my scooter to Costco. There really isn't any hilarity here as I was just picking up an alarm clock and some photos. But I thoroughly enjoyed climbing on to my scooter and weaving among the flatbed carts full of stuff on my way out to the street.
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