Long Time No See

Goodness, it has been a while hasn't it. Things have been busy and I've been falling behind on everything from blogging, to sweeping, to putting my old high school German class video onto DVD. (Subtitles are a frustrating and time consuming endeavor.)

Part of the reason I've been away so long is that I'm finally dating somebody. She's exceptionally cool, and I'm therefor doing my best to demonstrate the fact that I'd make a swell boyfriend. Case in point: making the morning coffee.

To many people (mostly coffee drinking people) making a morning cup of coffee is no big deal. But I don't drink coffee and therefor had no idea how to go about making a cup. Luckily I had the following things at my disposal: a coffee maker, a box of filters, and the knowledge that she usually gets her beans from Peet's.

First stop: Peet's coffee to get some freshly ground coffee beans. I entered the coffee shop and walked over to the coffee bean counter where a girl walked over and asked, eyebrows raised, if I wanted coffee beans. I think she thought I was trying to subvert the drink line.

Me: Yes.
Her: Ok. What kind?
Me: Oh, well, this isn't for me. What are your most popular beans?
Her: Most people like the rocaprincesshouseblend.
Me: Right. I'll have that one.
Her: ...
Her: That was two different kinds.
Me: Oh. I'll have the second one.
Her: Ok, the house blend. How much to do you want?
Me: Enough for two cups.
Her: [A long and pained sigh.]
Her: Um, no. I'm going to sell you a quarter pound. It's more than you want, but that's how much I'm going to sell you.
Me: Ok.
Her: Which grind do you want? Oh, right, not for you. [Sigh] I'm going to go with the universal grind.
Me: Ok.
Her: There are instructions on the side of the bag on how to make the perfect cup of coffee.
Me: Oh good. I need that.
Her: [Eye roll] Yeah. Do you want a complimentary cup of coffee or tea? [Obviously really hoping I would say no and leave.]
Me: No thanks.
Her: [Looking relieved] Thanks. Goodbye.

With coffee obtained and Barista torture behind me I was ready to make my first cup of coffee.

When that fateful morning came I quietly sneaked out of bed and readied my implements. I got the coffee maker out of the cupboard, which was unfortunately behind some pots and pans which made its extraction a little less quiet than I was hoping for.

With the coffee maker freed I carried it over the stove to the toaster oven where there was a free plug. Unfortunately I didn't have the plug quite contained and it dragged across all my gas burner covers. Clinky, clinky, clinky, clinky. Again, not quite as stealthy as I had planned.

Electricity flowing free, I measured out the coffee. According to the side of the bag the perfect cup of coffee requires two tablespoons of coffee per 6 oz of water. Because I don't have anything with oz lines on it, I had to use my 1/4 cup measuring cup. (6oz = 3/4 cup.) I figured 9oz of water would just about do it, so I measured out 3 table spoons of coffee. I realized, at this point, that 12 trips to the sink with my 1/4 cup would probably result in a lot of water on the floor and a skewed measurement, so I unplugged the coffee maker and moved it over to the sink. Unfortunately I didn't have the plug quite contained and it dragged across all my gas burner covers. Clinky, clinky, clinky, clinky. Again.

The final transport of the coffee maker back to the plug was whisper quiet, and the coffee started percolating. I inquired into the use of cream (1% milk) and sugar and mixed in what I hoped were the desired amounts. I presented the cup and a sip was taken. Her eyebrows went up and she said, "Oooh. It's strong."

I now make coffee with 2.5-3 cups of water per 1/4 cup of beans. And I get nearly twice the coffee. I think the "Peet's Perfect Cup of Coffee" recipe allows for each drop of water to have its own coffee ground to seep through. As a result not many drops of water make it down to the coffee pot.

It's a good thing that it's the thought that counts.