Riiing

I own a very nice pair of earplugs. They are made of yellow flexible plastic and come in a handy, round, white case. A blue plastic cord stretches between them so I can hang them around my neck when they aren't busy protecting my hearing.

And yet I never remember to bring them to concerts.

I went to see Elbow last night and when the opening band, Earlimart, started playing I realized what I had forgotten to bring. I was standing right up next to the stage, so when the lead singer played his guitar my hair blew back.

I weighed my chances of being able to get back to the stage if I left in search of improvisational earplug material, and decided against it, so I searched my pockets and scanned the area around me.

When the song ended I asked the woman next to me if I could have her drink napkin. She handed it over and I ripped it up into External Auditory Meatus sized chunks. Since the napkin was wet with drink condensation, the paper molded to the shape of my ear canal quite nicely, and when the concert was over I had some perfectly formed ear canal molds, which I decided I wouldn't keep.

And in case anyone was wondering, Elbow was excellent. I got a pick and a set list which says at the bottom: "This is only genuine if this is written on it." So I guess it is.



[I am currently reading a book which is narrated by an autistic teenager. I'm a little worried that I'm absorbing the writing style]