Bowling for Bozos

This Friday a bunch of went bowling in Colma, land of the dead. According to Stuff Magazine, "Colma is home to 1,100 living people. And 1.5 million dead ones." Colma has many, many graveyards, a small population, and a 24-hour bowling alley.

This bowling alley has, among other things, 25$/hr games, a twitchy employee with Grease-the-Musical Hair in front and a ponytail in back, free socks, and TVs over every lane to play animations that make fun of you when you get gutter-balls. The screen also tells you whose turn it is, and what the scores are. By far the best part of the screen is that it tells you how fast your last bowl was. Since I suck at bowling, Amos and I decided to go for the land speed bowling record.

Amos is quite a bit taller than I am and he doesn't sit on the couch all day. So I was pretty sure we was going to win. He made a good effort, but in the end, to everyone's surprise, I won. His best was 20.8 miles per hour, while my best was a blistering 21.13 miles per hour. My previous best (and my actual best frame in terms of speed and score) was the strike I threw at 20.78 miles per hour. And to top it all of, on the second game I bowled a 107.

Now for the blog posting's title namesake. Bowling next to us was a number of dancing obsessed teens. (There were two Justin Timberlake look-a-likes in the bowling alley that night. One was in this group.) Before every shot, they would dance along to the music like some R&B video, except set in a bowling alley. There were lots of kicks and fancy turns, and at one point one of them did the worm. They also spiced up the game by bowling with 2 balls at once (1 ball stayed in the gutter for a half hour) and with 2 people at once (both balls made it safely behind the gate).

This is not to say that trying to bowl as fast as you can awesome-tastic, and maybe my lack of ability to move my hands and feet at the same time colors my opinion, but I feel that dancing and bowling don't mix. I suck at, but still like bowling. I suck at, and greatly dislike dancing. So dancing can just keep its distance from my bowling. I make this decree as the land speed bowling champion of the land of the dead.