The Scourge of Norbert

It's really difficult not to punt Norbert down the block. Having a kitten is very conflicting with their bipolar swings from cute to really aggravating. She really likes, for instance, to knock her food/water dish around until 96% of the water is on the floor (preferably mixed with kitty litter), 2% is in the food side of the dish, and 1% remains in the dish ready to be consumed. Trying to thwart her efforts to mildew the grout in my livitchen, today I switched her water dish for a Pyrex loaf dish. It's big and heavy and glass and can't be knocked around. It can, however, be walked in. I thought cats were not terrible fond of water. Well, maybe they aren't, because after wading around in her water dish she went to dry off in her litter box, which was apparently a bit too dry, so she went for another wade in the water dish.

Her other hobbies include: Biting my everything, scratching my legs and feet, spreading an even layer of kitty litter over the living room portion of my livitchen, and falling off the futon. I only really take pleasure from 3 kitteny things now: 1) The fact that she seems to like being near me, even if it is only to climb my boxer shorts. 2) When she falls asleep on me. 3) When she tips over backwards and hits her head on something. The last one is a little more revengey than I'd like, but my hip is currently bleeding and it's her fault.

As a last and especially stiring example of the speed at which she can go from cute to evil, last night she was sleeping on my chest while I read my book. Eventually she gave a yawn, a big stretch, opened her eyes, and tried to eat one of my moles.

Being the owner of a large and varied collection of moles, I know for a fact that the purpose of a mole is to give the owner something to monitor for cancerous tendencies. Moles are not, however, under any circumstances, nor by any stretch of the imagination, edible.