Cast of Characters

In the previous post I referred to many of my neighbors without too much explanation of who they are. So here is said explanation.

Gonzo and Bitch: These two are the couple that lives upstairs and across the fire escape from me. I’m not sure if Gonzo actually lives there, but he’s over quiet a bit. G and B have a mercurial relationship. It goes from singing duets to silly music, where each one has his or her own part worked out, to screaming at each other and shaking the building. I think Gonzo’s name is actually Gonzo, but I have no idea what Bitch’s real name is. In fact, just recently Gonzo, Bitch, and a new player, Jessica were fighting up stairs, and Jessica called Bitch, Bitch as well. So, on second thought, perhaps her name is Bitch.

Their fights are both violent and really, amazingly stupid. They each pick their arguing sentence and then yell it at the other person over and over. Neither changes the sentence for a good 5-10 minutes. After the allotted time has passed, then they pick a new sentence and yell that for the next 5-10 minutes, on at infinitum or until someone storms out.

Piranha Man: PM lives on my floor and across the fire escape. He is so named for one of his many TV comments. He once said, and I quote, “Piranha tank? I would not jump into a piranha tank. They would not eat … they would eat me.” I love how he goofed in the middle. (The recording was done once to see what gems I could get on tape. That was one of them.)

Anyhow, he goes on like that all the time. He says things like “The Mayflower? That’s ok.” Who knows what that means? And once he was on the phone and went on a cliché bender. “I’m just a simple boy from the farm.” “I’ll never go down that road again.” “I knew he was too good to be true.”

And so, in a nutshell, these are my neighbors. At least the weird ones. I have plenty of nice ones too, but they aren’t that much fun to write about.