Back

Well, not back really. It's not like I went someplace.

So here's the deal - the reason I haven't been writing: The day after my last post I found out I had testicular cancer. Then I had the right one* out on Friday. I'm fine now, though I need to undergo some radiation therapy just to be sure they got it all.

So for a while there all the stories I could think of were hospital related. And you can't very well tell a bunch of hospital stories without explaining why you were in the hospital. Well, maybe I could have, but not stories that involve attractive nurses coming in every hour or so to draw on my crotch with magic marker, or hearing an-only-barely-avoided shootout below my hospital window at 2am. Mattress delivery rarely involves either of those things.

Then, as non-hospital related stories came up, I felt like I couldn't just jump right in after 2 weeks with, "today I went to Arbuckle California and saw a coffee shop called Starbuckles Coffee." Or "Today I delivered a mattress to a guy named "Charlie Brown." I needed to explain my absence first. One can't follow a post about Arbuckle Coffee with a post about cancer. I think people who do that are called blog fouls.

Anyhow, I decided I should just write about it, then it'd be out there and I could talk about hospital stories or what ever else happened to be going on. I could even post another math joke if the mood struck. (Don't worry, I don't have one.)

So yeah, there it is. And I'm fine, so nobody worry. I wasn't using the right one anyhow. Really, for the other people I know who have had cancer, it was really a much more traumatic thing. I feel like my experience has been much more low-key. My experience was the medical equivalent of having a spider on your back, saying "Eek! Get it off!", and then not being able to lift anything heavy for 2 months. Ok, so the lifting thing doesn't fit with the metaphor, but you get the picture. The spider's gone, and on August 1st I'll be able to heave 72 lb boxes of gel mattress pad around just like I used to.


*As opposed to the left one. Not as opposed to the wrong one.