Insert Foot A into Mouth B

Most of the time I deliver our hospital beds to old people. They have arthritis, or replacement hips which are going out again, or maybe they've just recently broken a hip, or ankle, or toe. Any way you slice it these people have trouble getting in and out of a regular bed. But depending on the health issue, they may not need it forever.

I delivered one such bed on Friday to Berkeley. The family let me in and showed me where to install the bed. The patient would be arriving later.

As I was putting the bed together the following conversation took place:

Wife: How long will he get the bed?
Me: As long as he needs it.
Mother: So we're buying it?
Me: No, it works like this: If he likes it and continues to need it for 13 months Medicare has paid for it and it becomes his forever. If he gets up and dances around before the 13 months is up, and he'd like to go back to his regular bed, we'll come pick this one up.
Mother: Oh, he ain't never going to get up and dance around.

As I finished building the bed in came the patient - He's a 40ish paraplegic in an electric wheelchair.

In the future I may use the phrase "if his mobility improves" in place of "if he gets up and dances around."