Today

I was worried about today. It started out with our weekly corporate compliance course conference call, which isn't terrible, but I can't say I look forward to it.

After the call I tried to make delivery arrangements. Of the 3 deliveries I got in the morning, 1 had the wrong phone number, 1 had no phone number, and one was missing an area code. A little research cleared those problems right up.

So off I went to delivery number 1, ignoring the phone omens and hoping for the best. However, when I arrived I discovered the patient didn't have a bed frame. I'm not allowed to install stuff on the floor. Oh well, I'll come back later.

Time for delivery #2. I dialed the number:

Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Them: Bueno.
Crap.
Me: [I have a mattress blah blah blah.]
Them: Um.... [Then in perfect, accent-free English,] Sorry, I do not speak any English.
Me: Ok. Well ... Ok.
I called two other numbers for the patient's family and waded through two Spanish language voice mail menus until I got what I hope was the leave a message beep. I left an English message.

Off to delivery #3. When I arrived the patient was out of bed already. Amazing. I took off their old mattress, put mine on, and got my paperwork signed. 'Hot Damn,' I thought. 'This day is looking up.' Then I knelt down to pick up my quick pump and put my knee in a puddle of cat pee.

During lunch my sandwich place had been replaced by a Panda Express, so I went to a Burger King with the dual distinctions of being the slowest location on earth, and one of the few with pay toilets. You gotta love paying 25c to pee someplace where your eyes water from the smell. I guess the quarter helps keep the riffraff out.

To bring my day full circle I went back to delivery #1 at 4 o'clock just as the bed frame guy arrived. I went to the woman's room and set up my mattress while I waited for the frame guy to unload. As I blew up my mattress I heard a running water noise coming through the open door to the bathroom. I was just about to wonder what it was when I heard an accompanying, satisfied "Oh? ... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." After he was finished and put away he wandered out and asked a nurse when breakfast would be ready.

But I did get home early, and in a little while I'm having pie. Today hasn't beaten me yet.