Proof of My Rotten Core

Super Bowl Sunday mostly involved me standing around in the kitchen, not doing a good job eating olives, and talking to friends. I watched 0 commercials, and only looked at the game a couple of times when shouts came up from the people in the living room. During these crucial moments I would look to see what was going on, remember that I didn't care, and go back to dipping home-made chocolate chip cookies in whipped cream.

However, I did see a bit of the pre-game show. When I turned on the TV they had just started singing the national anthem and maybe one or two other patriotic songs. All the country performers were wandering around on stage in their sleeveless flag motif shirts singing about how swell America is. Then the camera cut to a close up of a girl.

The girl in question was looking both off to the left and off to the right at the same time. She was seriously walleyed. I've noticed that during televised sporting events the camera will often cut into the crowd to some attractive or entertaining person, this girl obviously fitting into group #2. I started to laugh.

I mean, she must have THE BEST peripheral vision, possibly over 180 degrees worth. But as I'm laughing the camera starts to zoom out and pan, and I realize that the producers of the pre-game show have surrounded the stage with legions of the singing mentally challenged. Initially I was laughing at the close up shot of the girl, and with the realization of what I was actually laughing at, I started to laugh harder.

There I was, sitting on the couch having a hearty laugh at the expense of patriotic, mentally challenged kids, when my roommate notices and inquires, "Michael (the roommate equivalent of using somebody's full name)?! Are you laughing at the handicapped?!"

Yes. Yes I am.