Some Things

- My Yahoo profile has just come back online after the Personals staff deemed it fit for public consumption, and I've just gotten my first icebreaker. From looking at her profile, I can see myself dating her, but I'm not sure that she can see herself dating me. I'm not sure if she's looked at her profile, but it says that she wants someone who is 2 inches taller and makes $40,000 more a year than me. I don't think either of those things are going to happen between now and when I email her.

- Votive candles are tall and skinny and hard to light when the wick burns down to more than 3 inches below the rim. But I've come up with a solution. (And it doesn't involve buying one of those long lighters. Be creative people.) Since candles burn they way they do, the wick is always the lowest point. So any binaca sprayed into the candle collects under the wick. Then when a fireball of binaca is sprayed down into the candle, it usually sputters for a bit, and then jumps merrily to life. Binaca has soooo many uses. Freshens breath, helps me breath fire, kills flies, and lights those hard to reach places. It also removes the hair from my fingers from time to time, but that's more than worth a good fireball.

- Because of an ill-advised purchasing decision on the part of my roommate, we now have roughly a pound and a half of olives in our fridge. I'm did my part to get rid of them by ordering an 18" mushroom pizza, and when it arrived, covering it in olives. Turns out that an 18" pizza only took care of the little tiny Tupperware of olives in the fridge. The gigantic Tupperware full of olives lives on.

- Last night I got in bed at 8:30 and was asleep by 9:30. Why, you ask? Because I'm an old, old man who wishes his neighbors would "turn that racket down." Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go listen to a book on tape.