Bike of Death

Today I decided I would try to take my bike for a ride. I was sort of surprised I was able to get the locks off, since I hadn't unlocked the thing for probably 2 years.

I think it needs some repairs. Both the front and rear wheels aren't very true. I know what happened to the front wheel: I ran head-on into an idiot who wasn't looking where he was going and swerved in front of me. We ran into each other front wheel to front wheel. Being roughly the same mass and traveling and roughly the same speed, we both went over our handlebars, and collided helmet to helmet in the air, then crashed down into a big heap on our bikes. I was late for a math test, so I wobbled off toward class and the other guy wobbled off toward the dorms. Ever since then, my front wheel has a noticeable side-to-side wobble.

So the front wheel was maimed in 1999. I have no idea what happened to the back wheel, but it doesn't ago around well either. It's as if it's partially flat on one side, and then has the side-to-side wobble as well. Front and back wobbles make stopping exciting, because when the wobbly bit gets to the brake pads, the brakes grab extra hard. In addition, the back wheel is made of steel, and is therefore all rusty and makes a terrible honking noise when I try to stop. With the front wobble, the back wobble, and the rust-on-brake pad noise, it sounds like I'm tying to ride a tortured, but oddly rhythmic, dying goose.

I also don't have a helmet. I wonder how much it would cost for a helmet and goose-to-bike conversion.