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I've been having very poor luck with Onion Personals. Actually, I've been having poor luck with girls in general.

This weekend I went to a party and talked for a good long while with a girl. I thought it went rather well overall. Although there were moments where I wondered where I was going with pieces of the conversation. I don't seem to be able to avoid such moments.

As a for instance, she mentioned that she had recently started running. I made some comment about how running is AWFUL, then worried that I had offended her and explained that running isn't intrinsically awful, I just hate running when I do it. I went on to say that I have the utmost respect for runners. She looked a me quizzically for a second and said, "it's not like U.N. peace keeping or something. We aren't taking our lives in our hands when we run." And I countered that runners kind of are, especially if they feel like I do when I run.

She assumed that maybe I hadn't run regularly, but I pointed out that I had been on the track team for my first 3 years of high school. I even told her about the coach making my friend and I run with the girl's team because we couldn't keep up with the guy's team, and that he had a heart murmur and that I just sucked.

Anyhow, I managed to recover from that and we talked for a while longer, and then we went our seperate ways. I should have asked for her phone number, but I'm dumb and I didn't. I did, however, find her email address via Google by searching for her school program. I didn't have to work that hard at it, so I felt like it wasn't toooooo creepy to email her. So I did, but needless to say I haven't heard back.

Back in the personals department I've had a pretty poor email response as well. So I'm thinking I need to post a close up picture. All the featured people have close ups, and I think it's the ticket to fame and popularity on the internet. With that in mind I took maybe 25 pictures of myself, which I've narrowed down to 3, which I've further narrowed down to 0. It is apparently very difficult to catch my face in a pose where it resembles a well mannered human being's. In various pictures I look stoned, asleep, retarded, seethingly angry, marginally irritated as somebody just out of frame to my left, psychopathic, and caught in a soul crushing bout of despair. Oh, and lets not forget the ever popular out of focus.

Hopefully by next year this will all be behind me and I'll be out and about with somebody who enjoys the disturbingly varied faces of me.