The Pot Calling the Kettle Blech

Tonight I finished off the last of a particularly vast expanse of chicken pot pie.

I went to Costco on Saturday to buy soap, toilet paper, and laundry detergent. And on impluse I bought a chicken pot pie and the Wallace and Gromit trilogy on DVD. I'm still happy with 4 out of 5 of those purchases*, but the pie was a big mistake.

I like chicken pot pie, or so I thought. What I like is my Mom's chicken pot pie, where the crust is thin and the pie filling isn't a solid mass. Costco's pie was like eatable cement covered in a layer of quarter-inch thick plywood pie crush. (Piewood.**) My Mom's pie filling is like a blissfully pealess and really chunky chicken soup filled with, among other things, plenty of celery. (An ingredient disturbingly absent in Costco's monstrosity.) I like peas, but not in pie form.

Possibly worst of all, the piewood tasted terrible and was the bulk of the pie. I ate about a quarter of the pie, crust and all, on the first night. I ate the rest by digging the filling out, putting it in a bowl, adding a little water, and microwaving it. After all was said and eaten, the remaining 3/4 of a pie's worth of crust neatly filled a little more than half the pie tin. That's a lot of piewood.

I'm going to stick to frozen food from Trader Joes.

* It turns out I had plenty of toilet paper. Now the kitchen cupboard closest to the bathroom is now completely full of toilet paper. I can't fit one, single, extra roll in my apartment.

**
-What's your tree house made of?
+Piewood.
-Oh. It's leaving grease stains on my pants.
+Yeah, it does that. And it looks like it's about to rain, we should probably get down.