Freaky Phone Calls

FPC #1: [Calling at 2pm]
Me: Hi. I'm calling to schedule the pickup of our air mattress.
Them: Ok. What time are you coming?
Me: Would 6pm be ok?
Them: Oh sure. Anytime after 5pm would be fine. That's when the coroner is coming.

FPC #2: [The important background info to know about this call is that it happened on a TUESDAY]
Me: Hi. I'm calling to schedule the pickup or our air mattress.
Them: Oh. When did you want to come?
Me: We can be there within an hour, or if some other time would be more convenient, we can come then.
Them: Could you come on Thursday? We'd like to have a viewing.
[That is, at the very least, two and a half days of viewing time. Eww.]

FPC #3: [This one happened today]
Me: Hi. I'm calling to schedule the pickup or our air mattress.
Them: Oh, well, after my husband died this morning they put this house under quarantine, so no one can get in or out for at least a week. We'll have to let you know when this is all taken care of and you can come by.
Me: Ok, um, thanks.

While these phone calls are creepy, keep in mind what I did for the vast majority of my day: Drive around listening to an excellent book on tape. Can't beat that.