It's Been Years

Or maybe it's been more like a week. None the less, here I am creating a post with a week's worth of nothing to say.

First off I'd like to point out that I really truly don't have anything to do with Norbert's blog. This is not to say that I haven't enjoyed the three posts which have graced its page, but it was pointed out to me today that it would be really weird if I was the one writing it. But I'm not, so it isn't.

Last week I delivered some things to what, from the outside, looked like a normal 2 or 3 bedroom house. Not so.

Making a single, unbroken line across the walls of the house was what must be some muscular crown molding. Every 2 feet there was a 3'x4' painting of a King, Queen, Knight, Prince, or some other royal looking torso. And each painting was framed in a good 4 inches of ornate gold painted wood frame. The hallways were lines with little antique tables and there was a grand piano taking up most of the living room.

The entire house looked like it belonged inside an old English manor house - one which all the other manor houses agree is trying too hard to fit in.

And then I saw the kitchen. Yellow and brown and linoleum, straight out of 1978. I guess it's hard to be 100% consistent.

They guy's wife was interesting too. She kept flitting between surprise and indignation, separated by only fleeting moments of calm. Her eyes opened wide and she put her hands to her cheeks Macaulay Culkin style when she I showed her how the pump hooks to the bed. (You hang it on the foot of the bed. Really, it's that simple.) She threw her hands up in outrage when relating the story of how the woman who delivered the medication box left it near the front door. Why, she could never lift such a heavy box! I offered to move it to the kitchen. It weighed roughly the same as a gallon of milk.

But she was very nice. As I was leaving she told me I was both very nice and very handsome, and that she hoped I had a nice girlfriend. When I said that I didn't just at the moment she told me that when her husband saw her that was it - He was done with dating. I assume that she meant that it was love at first sight, not that he chose that moment to give up. The second reading makes for a terribly depressing anecdote.