Yuck

They've done it to me again, those rotten vegans. First they pretend to serve pizza, and now this.

I hadn't had lunch yet, I was starving, I was late for a delivery, and I needed to get gas. While the van was filling up I ran into the station to get some sort of gas station snack. And there, on a shelf next to the moon-pies, was a great big espresso chip cookie calling out to me.

Perfect, I thought. What could be better than an espresso chip cookie? I tell you what: A cookie containing butter, eggs, and real chocolate. After I took my first bite of the cookie (and nearly blew it onto my windshield) I peered closely at the label. To my great dismay I discovered that I had purchased a vegan cookie.

Who sells vegan food at a gas station? If they sold bio diesel I might look more closely at the snacks, but there was just no indication that there might be stealth vegan cookies running around. I'm writing to the FDA. There needs to be some gargantuan mandated labels on the front of vegan food that says, "Warning, this food contains substitutes for all the ingredients that make it taste good. Eat with caution, as it may taste like ass."