Land of the Camouflaged

Starting at 1pm today I had to be at Travis Air Force Base to help show off our fine suite of products to all the doctors and nurses in the various oddly acronymed medical units in the med center on base. (MICU, NICU, SICU, Pediatrics. What the hell is pediatrics?)

Before going through security*, I had lunch at the Subway across the street from the base entrance. Since it as 12:15 when I got there, everyone else was getting lunch there too, but I was one of only a very few not dressed in fatigues.

While I was waiting in line, a huge guy gets in line behind me. He was sporting the very model of a military hair cut, he was wearing combat boots, and he was standing waaaay too close to me. Every time he crept forward, I would do the same, sometimes throwing in a little creep sideways to keep my distance.

Anyway, while the line was oozing forward, I hear a little, but surprisingly loud, midi version of assembly coming from this guy's pocket. On most phones you can press almost any exterior button, and the ring will stop while you check the readout to see who it is. This guy didn't want to do that. It played the song once, then he realized it was him that was ringing, so he picked it up and perused the caller ID to see who was calling while assembly played through again. Finally he answered:

HELLO? WHAT? NO, NOT RIGHT NOW. NO, I'LL HAVE TO DISCUSS IT WITH YOU LATER. I'M GETTING SOME SUBWAYS. WHAT? YEAH, I'M GETTING SOME SUBWAYS. YEAH, I'LL CALL YOU BACK.

1 minute later:

Assembly plays twice through while he rummages for his phone and then inspects the front display. Then,

HELLO? WHAT? WHO? OH, CELINE DION? YEAH, I LIKE HER VOICE A LOT. SURE, THAT SOUNDS GOOD. LETS SEE THAT TONIGHT.


* Getting through security involves showing the begunned guards at the gate my ID (which is a little card with my name typed on it, my signature, my company logo, and a picture I took (and cut with scissors to the right dimension) which is all laminated and hung on a lanyard) and showing a printout of an order (which in that case was a screen shot of corporate's ordering software. Since it's a demo, it wasn't even a real order). I hope they aren't doing anything super secret there, because the security regime is terrible. My company ID is real, but I feel I could make a much more professional looking ID by going to office depot armed with $50. My company ID would look a lot more professional if I was wearing my uniform in my picture and not a gray t-shirt that says South Wales Borderers Scooter Club.