Fantastic News from Corporate

It's not really fantastic. Really, it's awful.

Apart from the new guy, who has been at my company for about a month, I've been with my company for the less time than the other 3 rental techs. Even so, when my supervisor goes on vacation, I take over his duties. When something needs fixing, I fix it. When a complicated delivery needs to be made, I make that delivery. When something important needs to be done where the company can't afford to look retarded, they send me.

This is all well and good, and I'm sure it bodes well for my next review, but sometimes all this respect and responsibility comes back to bite me. Apparently Medicare is auditing my company on a patient in Alameda. In order to get on of our mattresses, a patient has to have bed sores someplace on their back, and they have to get a prescription from a doctor to treat those sores via our mattresses. Therefore Medicare wants proof of this patient's need for his mattress. Therefore, next Tuesday, I have to drive to Alameda and take 2 close-up Polaroids of the bed sore on his ass.

I was hoping, when I talked to him on the phone, that he would be all healed up. Nope, he says. I still have a sore, he says. It's on my ass, he says. Can I make an appointment to come take a picture for Medicare, I ask. Sure, how about Tuesday, he says.

Tips from corporate:
- Use a flash.
- Taking the picture in a dark room is best.
- Get as close as possible.
- Make sure the photo is clear.
- No faces.

And now I will spend every waking minute, and probably most sleeping minutes, dreading this coming Tuesday.