Best Day Ever

It started off my day at 4am when Norbert hooked one claw onto my lip and another a toe's-width away on my cheek.

I went back to sleep and got up at 6:30am, as per usual, but discovered I'd run out of breakfast food. I have cereal, but no milk. I have eggs, but no milk with which to scramble them. I have margarine, but no bread on which to spread it. So I had peas and a caffeine free coke.

On a regularly trafficked day it takes me between 35 and 40 minutes to get to work. I hate being late. HATE it. And traffic was unnecessarily crappy most of the way there. When I was just feet from the Depot I tried to sneak around somebody at an intersection who was turning right so I get go straight through the intersection. I didn't make it. I scraped the right side of my van across her tail light and bumper. She was really nice about it, but I just got rear ended a month ago, and having an accident in a work vehicle takes up your whole freaking day.

And so the accident stuff began. I had to call the insurance company which seems to be staffed completely by idiots. "Explain what happened." I did. "Did this happen on the premises of your employer?" Um, noooo. I don't work in an intersection. "What's your title?" Rental technician. "Do you own the car?" No, it's a company car. "Yeah, but do you own the company?" Noooo, I'm a rental tech.

After 10 minutes of insurance company I spent 4 hours driving around from clinic, to non-existent drug testing facility, to Kaiser, away from Kaiser, back to Kaiser, and finally to a Lab Corp, who told me to go across the street to Quest to get myself drug tested. So 5 hours after my accident I got my drug test completed. I'm sure that cleared up a lot. (I wonder if they will tell my company that I got into the accident because of my poor breakfasting habits.)

When I get back into the depot one of the Rental Techs tells me the rehab nurse really likes me and has asked him to ask me if I like her too, yes or no. How middle school is that? But, whatever, I'm always up for a date, even if she lives an hour and a half from my house. But when I went into the rehab facility to deliver a mattress (when I got there the order was canceled) she wasn't there.

At 4:45pm, 15 minutes from punching out and driving home, I got a Napa delivery that had to be done today. I finished with the delivery at 6:15 (it took an hour to get there and a half hour to get the guy out of bed and set up the mattress) and because CalTrans has just moved a section of the Bay Bridge, it took me until 8 o'clock to get home.

Norbert seems to have just taken the world's most fragrant crap, so I'm going to quit writing and deal with that before my pizza gets here. (Or before it doesn't get here as the case may be. We'll see how late the evil tendrils of this Friday reach.)