Train-wreck Television

Despite the fact that I have a TiVO, I was flipping through channels this evening. When I arrived at TLC I stopped at the strange pairing which lay before me. On my TV screen were Martha Stewart and Sean Puffy Combs Puff Daddy Puffy P Diddy Diddy making wrapping paper.

Just before the commercial break Diddy recommended that everybody should donate money to Katrina relief funds. But more importantly, explained, everybody should pray for the victims because God can fix any problem. With that he waved and walked off stage to Martha’s explanation that he was a busy entrepreneur and he had business to take care of.

Martha mentioned that she was hoping Diddy could stay for her next guest who was going to show her how to wrap presents in the style of the Japanese. I had to stay for the next guest because I had to know if Martha's bejeweled belt buckle actually said M Diddy. It did.

To top the whole thing off, when Martha's Japanese wrapping guest was showing her how to fold the paper the guest said, "Now caress the paper over the edge."

"Caress?" Martha inquired.

"Yes, caress the paper over the corners," the guest encouraged.

"Okay," decided Martha, "I'm going to caress my box."

I switched back to prerecorded programs.