Fountain of Wayne, or, um Youth

Today, because of a mix-up with one of our accounts where they gave a bunch of our stuff to another DME*, I was looking through our personnel files. (There are only 6 files.) According to the account, they gave our stuff to a short, fat guy. We don't really have any fat guys, but one of the techs is a little short, and to find out just how short, I looked in the file to discover that he's 5'5". I guessed 5'6", so no big surprises there.

However, when I looked in another guy's file, the same guy who talks to dead people and sets off his car alarm all the time, the same guy who I would have guessed was no older than early 40's, turned out to be 53! I realize this story has a huge had-to-be-there factor, but rest assured that nobody, and I mean NOBODY would have guessed this guy was 53. When I asked the Short Guy to guess how old Dead-People Guy was, he guessed 30 something. I swear he sleeps in a vegetable crisper, or in a zip-lock bag, or maybe takes off his face at night before going to sleep.

Speaking of being older than expected, there's a nurse that works at a rehab facility I go to all the time who always waves and says "Hi Michael." I was surprised the first time she did it because, as far as I know, I've never introduced myself to her. Because of her constant waving, saying hello, and pervasive friendliness people tell me she's interested in me. But as I slowly progress past the age where people are assumed to be single, I've started checking ring fingers. Sure enough, the nurse has a ring finger. (And the finger has a ring on it. These parentheses were needed because the ring finger sentence was a typo, and I mean to leave off the word "finger." Alas, after I typed it, it was too funny to delete.)

Today, Short Tech was delivering mattresses to the rehab facility, and the nurse approached him and asked where I was, and said I was cute, and asked how old I was, and said that she's probably too old for me. I'm not sure about being too old for me - she doesn't look older than me. But I'm pretty sure she's too married for me. Unless I've repeatedly confused her left and right hands, or have lost the ability to figure out which finger is the ring finger.

Weird. Just weird.

*Durable Medical Equipment supplier.