A Day at the Beach

On Saturday a bunch of us went to a clothing optional beach. We chose the clothing optional kind not because of any need on our part to get naked, but because it would be less crowded. In fact, there were three of us who didn't even take off our shirts, although one was a girl. None the less, she didn't swimsuit up either.

When guys picture nude beaches, they think of a coastline covered with hot naked ladies, all tan and lying on their backs. But for the most part, nude beaches are actually full of aging and portly men. Balls-to-the-beach, sandy-assed naked dudes. Well, not totally naked. Most were wearing hats and sunglasses. There was also one guy wearing only a sweatshirt. The hat is odd, but the sweatshirt makes no sense at all.

On the bright side, there were some attractive topless women at the beach as well, some with friends, some with their boyfriends. There were two such couples that were taking a few too many liberties with the nakedness. The two couples were separated by probably two hours, but both did the same thing: Namely making out and feeling each other up in front of dog and everybody.

Turns out, the dog wasn't going to take it. We brought with us George, a friend's dog. George took it upon himself to be the Love Police, and when he saw a couple lying on top of one-another we would walk up to them and lick whomever was on top's forehead. Having your forehead licked by a strange dog must really kill the mood, because it cooled things off for a good 15-20 minutes.