How Many BTU's is Your Jesus?

A while back I was walking through Walgreen’s and saw one of those Jesus candles in the glass tube. I had never seen one before so I bought it.

They cost in the neighborhood of a dollar, and they have a picture of Jesus, or the Virgin Mary, or in the case of the one I'm looking at, a huge hand reaching up from the earth. A man with a glowing head stands on each finger, and a child in a white robe and glowing head stands on the thumb. On closer inspection, two of the men might be women. They have some pink in amongst their garb. It says Mano Poderosa on the bottom.

I've discovered that these candles do a surprisingly excellent job of heating my room. If I light one and leave my door closed it gets noticeably warmer than the living room. I may not bask in the light of the lord, but I have been known to rub my hands over a toasty glass of Jesus.

(Upon researching Mano Poderosa, I’ve discovered what I have here is a votive candle. In 2006 many congressmen and senators are going to be running for their seats. We need to get out and rock the votive.)