No Overarching Theme

Today I saw a guy walking along the side of the freeway. I was going south, and he was on the shoulder walking north and wearing one of those huge, puffy jackets which are so popular with the urban youth of today. Over his right forearm he carried a pink beach towel. I passed several exits and saw no broken-down cars.

At a facility in Vallejo, while waiting for a patient to be moved, I heard the following over the paging system: "Amanda Hugandkiss line 1. Amanda Hugandkiss line 1." No, really. In the book Choke, by Chuck Palahniuk, the main character has a theory that facilities page fake people as codes to the nurses. Maybe Amanda Hugandkiss line 1 means a patient is trying to escape near Nursing Station 1.

Last night's pub quiz name: Don't Touch My Mustache. We placed 3rd again, and San Francisco Bay Hooker #1 won best name. I personally liked We Don't Know Without James and Coolaid Obesity Epidemic. Coolaid placed first though, thereby taking themselves out of the running for best name.

Some commonly used phrases drive me nuts. For instance, someone on the radio today used the phrase "like the fox guarding the hen house" in reference to a lackadaisical third party testing professional baseball players for steroid use. First off, the drug testing agents aren't planning on eating the baseball players. The players have the power there. If he really wanted to use hens and foxes, he should have said it's like a hen guarding the fox house. My other problem is with the usage of carrot and stick. As a for instance, someone might say that "the economic aid is the carrot and the threat of invasion is the stick." No. The point of the stick is to get the carrot out in front of the donkey you're sitting on. You aren't holding out the carrot with one hand and whacking the donkey with the other. Am I wrong here?

I started out my week with 4 irritating, persistent customers: "Wookiee", "Call me at 2 or 10 or 4 and watch me not be there", "Medicare don't pay for shit! You figure out who's payin' and call me back", and "Why haven't you guys come to pick up the mattress/We have an answering machine?" I've taken care of two of them, and the other two have stopped returning phone calls. Suits me fine. Unfortunately "I have an imaginary problem with my mattress" has called again. Luckily (for me, not him) he had the runs today and put off our appointment until Wednesday.

I really want go get some Chicken Madera at the Cheesecake Factory. Who's with me?*

*I just want to point out that sentence about Chicken Madera has nothing to do with the previous sentence mentioning the runs.