I May Be a Lesbian

Consider the evidence:

-I know what a sconce is.
-I don't like sports.
-I like women.
-I can't grow sideburns.

And here's the clincher: I spent Saturday morning in bed, eating a half container of cookie dough ice cream, and reading a Janet Evanovich book.

Janet Evanovich started out writing, and may still write, romance novels. Now, that isn't the kind of book I was reading. I was reading book 10 of her Stephanie Plum series about a plucky, if hapless, female, bounty hunter who is torn between her love of 2 men. The books are funny and fast paced, and they even involve some guns and violence. But given the context of the situation, I couldn't help feeling a little like a woman. Perhaps like a woman on her period.

In my defense, I'd probably be considered butch.

Side notes:
-I've still not had any opportunities to thank anyone with my car.
-I finally emailed the girl on Yahoo Personals with no neck muscles. Did I explain her? Anyway, if you can't get Yahoo Personals to come up it's because I'm using up all their bandwidth by constantly refreshing to see if she has checked her messages yet.
-Today I saw a guy who works for the Forest Service named N. Woods.
-Today I tried to schedule an appointment to deliver a mattress for Friday. He said, "No, Tuesdays and Fridays are when I have my bowel movements."